Three months ago I had a sadly familiar phone call with my son. “Mom, I need a ride. Send me money for Uber.” “Why do you need a ride?” “It’s dangerous here. This is a f***ing emergency.” “Dad and I offered to pay for Sober Living last week. You refused.” “Mom, I’m not playing around. […]
I wake up thinking about my son. As I’m floating up, out of deep sleep into the twilight of wakefulness, I feel a moment of panic, like when you lose a toddler in a store. It’s visceral, I feel it in my chest and my gut – a nebulous awareness that he’s not safe. Thoughts […]
“Put the oxygen mask on yourself first.” This is excellent self care advice, but for parents of addicts it’s an oversimplification. If your child has SUD and especially if it’s combined or other mental illness this advice can feel impossible. I believe in self-care, but it can be very hard to accomplish. I think of […]
I’ve been chasing happiness for the last few years. It’s been an elusive creature. I sneak up on it and think I have a good hold on it, and then it slips through my fingers. It’s not that I’ve been in the depths of depression for two years, but I’ve worked hard for every shred […]
The air in the car was heavy with emotion. My son, in the passenger seat, sat and looked out the window towards the gray naked branches of the two lonely trees at the edge of the parking lot. His deep voice was uneven and agitated. I listened with my heart in my throat. I wasn’t […]
