Christmas lights wink on the periphery of my vision and stockings hang above the glowing fireplace. At my feet a blonde and a black pit bull snore gently while soaking up the heat from the fire. They are ying and yang, dark and light, gentle and wild. I never wanted them, never asked for them, […]
One month ago I wrote about how going “No Contact” with my addict son was helping me regain my sanity. I was finding normalacy again without the daily drama and crisis that were forced upon us by his life style. I foolishly thought that we hadn’t heard from our son because we were doing such […]
Three months ago I had a sadly familiar phone call with my son. “Mom, I need a ride. Send me money for Uber.” “Why do you need a ride?” “It’s dangerous here. This is a f***ing emergency.” “Dad and I offered to pay for Sober Living last week. You refused.” “Mom, I’m not playing around. […]
I wake up thinking about my son. As I’m floating up, out of deep sleep into the twilight of wakefulness, I feel a moment of panic, like when you lose a toddler in a store. It’s visceral, I feel it in my chest and my gut – a nebulous awareness that he’s not safe. Thoughts […]
“Put the oxygen mask on yourself first.” This is excellent self care advice, but for parents of addicts it’s an oversimplification. If your child has SUD and especially if it’s combined or other mental illness this advice can feel impossible. I believe in self-care, but it can be very hard to accomplish. I think of […]
